Emotions and Weightloss

I don’t ever remember having felt so intensely emotional on a constant basis. I go from very low lows to uber highs in terms of my outlook and feelings.  This can occur in single day or even a few hours.

I am finding it not only distracting and irritating but sometimes detrimental to my daily activities.  Tonight I just had to shut down so I sent the girls upstairs to watch TV for a while.  The emotional intensity of looking after the kids for the day, magnified what I was feeling – depressed.

Is this shedding of weight affecting my emotional state?  Yes, I am sure it is. I am also partway in not using food as a coping mechanism.  And I don’t really have another vice feeling the void (not that I want one.)

There are just times like tonight when I fake a smile and a good attitude and struggle through dark clouds in my mind. I haven’t penned a poem since Grade 12 IB english with Mr. McKenna – here goes…

 

Ripping at my decency, my humanity
Taking me away from what I value, what I love
I hate it, I hate myself for feeling this way

 

Pure sadness inhabits my being
The good slides away into the margins
I cope with platitudes and false smiles

 

Feeling flawed like the bruised banana
But I can’t peel it to see underneath
There is too much in the way

 

I’ll do a little segue from poetry into a gratitude list, I just need to do something…

  • a partner who loves me – even through all this crap
  • three amazing daughters, who are delightfully themselves
  • work that challenges me, and lets me create the change that I so desperately want to make
  • friends and colleagues who have patience with my moods, eccentricities and other childish behaviour

Have a great day and feel better about yourself, you deserve it.

2 thoughts on “Emotions and Weightloss

  1. Hi Paul,

    Sending good thoughts your way. Good for you for acknowledging your feelings as you adjust to coping in different ways. Best to you and your family. 🙂

    – Cheryl

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